Blogging, privacy and being outed

Last year I wrote a post about losing my anonymity, and my concerns about my blog name becoming known within my friends and colleagues. My anonymity was something important to me, largely because I didn't want my ex-husband to find it but also because I wanted to restrict the number of people from my real world finding about about it. Even as an increasing number of people found out that I had a blog, few of them knew its name.

I suppose it was inevitable that sooner or later my blog name would be 'outed' as it were and - finally - I think it's happened.

I'm off work today with a bad cold and a chesty cough (if I were male, it would be called man flu) and earlier this morning whilst doing some blog admin and checking my stats. I noticed that someone at the ISP from work was logged onto my blog. I kept refreshing the stats, and they were still there. For nearly two hours.

I could see all of the blog posts they'd read, and it felt really unsettling.

The thing is, I really like my colleagues - all of them. After a few tricky years with a psycho headteacher  (who's thankfully long gone) we are a happy team - friends even -  and they've been a tower of strength over the past few years when I've dealt with my own personal crises.

And just to be clear, I have never discussed work-related issues on here - even in the darkest days of the psycho head I never shared it on here. Too risky. I mean we've all heard of people who have lost their jobs because of that sort of thing. No, the nearest I come to the is when I write about some of the funny things the children say - and even then I change the children's names.

But my blog has always been my personal space and I now feel the content might be compromised.

Why? Because I'm not sure I can be as open about some things. Over the past few years I've touched on so many very personal feelings and experiences, most of which I wouldn't normally discuss with a colleague, not even friends in some cases. But the blog is my way of getting it off my chest and receiving advice and support from my online friends.

I'm really not sure what to do. Do I continue as before and pretend I don't know they're reading it? Do I censor the private stuff and keep it very general? Even then, there's all the older posts where I talk about the personal stuff.

What would you do? Any advice would be very welcome.

How I survived a week in heels

I dress for comfort. I wear flat shoes, boots and comfy clothes. I try to look smart for work, but I admit to wearing the same thing over and over again. I like shoes though, but I buy them then never wear them. No, I go back to the same comfy boots in winter or flat sandals in summer. The heeled shoes stay in the wardrobe, unworn and unblemished.

This week, for some reason, I decided to set myself a challenge. Yes, not content with denying myself alcohol for a month (a bloody month!) I set myself another one -  I decided to wear some of the unworn heels I've been storing for months, and in some cases, years.

Two pairs of the very sensible heels I wore this week. 

This is my heel diary for the week.*

Monday: I thought I'd start off with heels I'd worn several times before, although not for a long time. It was time to get the ankle boots out with the 2" heels - not too high, nice solid heel, easy! Erm....well, not quite.

I got to work and almost immediately a colleague asked "Have you lost weight? You look different."

Kept feeling like I was going to topple forwards, I'm so not used to this.

By 3pm, and after being on my feet for a large part of the day, the balls of my feet were BURNING and I couldn't wait to get home and take the boots off.

Tuesday: Not only a pair of heels, but also a skirt! Wow, I had my legs out for the first time in.....well, I can't remember. It felt weird feeling the air around my calves.

As we were getting ready to leave for school I was singing along to the radio and the Teenager asked "Mum, have you got a boyfriend?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"Because you're very happy, and you've worn heels two days running."

Got into work and was greeted by a group of colleagues who were amazed by a) another pair of heels, and b) a skirt! That got them talking.

Wednesday: Another day, another pair of heels. The morning went well, but I had a lunchtime club so didn't get much of a chance to sit down. By mid-afternoon I would have cheerfully thrown the heels out of the window, but I gritted my teeth and carried on. After school I realised I had to go to the supermarket. By this time my feet were crying for a rest!

By the time I got home my feet were throbbing, but oh! the bliss of taking them off was the nearest I'll get to an orgasm anytime soon.

Thursday: Why am I doing this again? I don't know if I'm getting used to the heels, or if the shoes I wore today are just more comfortable. I've realised that I don't walk very gracefully in heels, I'm more of a clomper - not an attractive quality. Tall Daughter asked me today why I had been wearing heels, "Is there something going on?"

By the end of the day though my toes are in pain, and I need to soak my feet to stop them throbbing. I'm such a lightweight!

Friday: thank the Lord! Last day wearing heels and I'm back to the heeled ankle boots I wore on Monday. I don't work on a Friday, so it doesn't seem too bad today - I'm not on my feet as much - so the heels are bearable. I won't be repeating this challenge next week though. My toes have been through enough hell this week.


Over the course of the week almost everyone I work with including the caretaker (and some of the children) have commented on how nice I looked. It made me realise that because I was wearing heels I took a little extra care with the rest of my outfit and it made a difference. Even if I don't wear heels everyday from now on, I learned something this week - people really do notice if you make a bit more of an effort.

I'm interested - do you wear heels everyday? Or do you save them for special occasions?

*as far as I'm concerned a week is 5 working days. I couldn't face any longer than that :-)

New house, new bedroom

When we moved into this house I decided my bedroom had to be one of the first rooms to be decorated.  I took these first two photos the first time I went to view the house  (to send to my brother, who was still at sea at the time) and although the room was a decent size it was decorated in a dreary blue wallpaper and was very cluttered. 

Still, I could see the potential. It's now been redecorated and I love it. Apart from the main part of the bedroom there's what was described in the estate agent's details as a 'small dressing area' (sounds grand, but it's not much bigger than a cupboard), but the room's best feature is the big, south-facing window which overlooks the park. 

Wallpaper and bedlinen from Laura Ashley
Cushions and bedspread from Homebase
Bed from M&S, table lamps from Next

I also revamped an old chair to fit with the new colours

I really pleased with the final result, and glad I did it so early on - I just couldn't live with the blue wallpaper.  The next project is already underway - the spare room.  I'd better get a move on with that because I can't wait to invite our first guests.

Why having an alcohol-free January was a rubbish idea

Image credit

Since 1st January I've been having an alcohol free month. In fact, for the whole of January not a single drop of wine - or my favourite organic cider - will pass my lips.

For some reason, mainly because I overindulged over the Christmas holiday, I decided it would be A Good Idea not to drink during January. I did it last year and I survived in one piece, but this month has been more difficult for some reason. Maybe I just realised it's a completely rubbish idea.

Now the thing is, I don't drink very much and usually only have a drink on a Friday evening but  I really look forward to that Friday evening drinkypoos. I mean, I spend time choosing my drink of choice and perhaps a snackypoos or two to go with it, and then I'm set for the evening. (Okay, so I don't get out much...) Did I mention that I really enjoy my Friday night drinkypoos?

What was I thinking? No drinkypoos for a whole month?  It's probably one of my worst ideas EVER.

Oh, and did I mention that a random tweeter informed me that if I felt the need for an alcohol-free month, then perhaps it should be permanent.  The cheek!  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for restraint when it comes to drink - and there was a lot of news coverage recently about having 2 alcohol free days each week (just two?) - but I think a weekly tipple does not an alcoholic make.

To make matters worse I persuaded 9 other bloggers/tweeters to join me on this insane alcohol-free month and so now I feel obliged to complete the month, especially as most of the others seem to be enjoying it. Damn.

Just do me a favour though, next January if I mention that this ruddy idea again TALK ME OUT OF IT!

I'm just going to check how many more dry Fridays are in store for me....

Tesco mobile phone tariffs: win a LG Optimus 3D

Tesco recently launched their innovative capped mobile phone contracts which you may have seen featured in this TV ad. The idea is so simple I'm surprised nobody else thought of it - a phone contract that is capped to avoid unexpected phone bills. Genius eh?

This is how it works:

• the Tesco contracts ensure your monthly bill is never more than the cost of your tariff
• This is done by fixing your tariff so you can only use your inclusive minutes, texts and data
• The ability to top-up your account with a Pay as you go top-up, if you run out during the month
• The choice of Capping any contract on any phone across the whole Tesco mobile phone range – a unique offer in the mobile market

If you're the proud owner of a phone wielding teenager, or just want to keep tabs on your own phone usage this is a brilliantly easy way of doing so.

I'm always looking for ways to save money, and shopping more economically and saving money is the top of my resolutions for the new year.

Tell me what your money-saving resolution is, and the person with the best one will receive a brand spanking new LG Optimus 3D mobile phone which would normally cost £420 SIM free.

Enjoy crystal-clear, eye-popping 3D imagery courtesy of the Optimus smartphone from LG. There’s no need for glasses with this handset, just shoot, show and share videos or pictures all with the added bonus of High-definition 3D.

The Optimus is the world’s first mobile to feature dual core, dual channel and dual memory technology. This means high speed smooth processing for games, movies and other applications. What’s more as this HTC mobile is installed with Android 2.2 you can be sure of a reliable and powerful operating system.

With a huge 8GB of memory also included, the HTC Optimus is everything you could want from a smartphone.

To be in with a chance of winning, just leave a comment below with your money-saving resolution. Make sure you leave either an email address or twitter ID to make it easy for me to get in touch. Good luck!

Terms: I'll choose the winner on Monday 23rd January. There is no cash alternative. UK entries only please. The prize will be sent directly from Tesco.

UPDATE 24th January: The winner of the mobile phone is TiredMummy. Thank you to everyone who entered!


Disclosure: Tesco have sent me a shopping voucher in return for running this competition.

New house, new garden

We moved house right at the end of October, and today was the first day I had a proper root around in the garden.

This is a bigger house than the last one, but the garden is considerably smaller - which I prefer. And, as an added bonus, there are no lawns to mow! Mowing the lawn in the old house - with its front and back gardens - was my least favourite job and I had grown to loathe that particular chore.  So much so, that by the time the grass had been cut and I'd done a bit of tidying I didn't have any more time or enthusiasm for anything else.

This garden is mostly paved, gravelled or has wood chippings.  There's also a lovely little raised deck area with a working fountain.

There is quite a bit of structural planting, and a gorgeous bamboo plant next to the shed. Most of the other plants aren't in flower, but there's already one or two showing some colour.  I really like the small shrub with the tiny red flowers, does anyone know what it is?

We've only seen the garden in the autumn/winter so it'll be nice to see how the garden develops over the year.  I don't want to make any big changes until then, but there's quite a lot of pruning to be done and a very large, tall shrub was knocked over in the recent gales so that will be my first job.

My Green Man plaque is just propped up against the wall, along with some of my Dad's old gardening tools.  I've got a collection of terracotta pots and some metal tubs ready to be planted up, and I'm already looking at gardening websites and magazines to get some ideas for a smaller garden. Now, I need to go and find my old gardening books....

Teaching Tessie to say I love you ~ YouTube via Xbox Live

Not long after we first got our gorgeous hound, Tessie, we saw this video clip on YouTube:



Now, I'm not saying we're competitive but the first thing we thought was "How hard can it be?" So we had a go, and here's the result. This is Tessie responding to the Teenager saying 'I love you'.



Okay, so she's not quite there. But watch this space, that's all I'm saying.....

I love trawling through YouTube - who doesn't? All I need is a few hours spare minutes, a cuppa and Youtube and I can keep myself amused.

And did you know that you can search for YouTube clips on the voice activated Xbox Live?  No? Well you can!

If you want to try it out I've got a special discount which gives you 3 months Xbox Live Gold membership for half price.  Just enter this code - N0tSprM3m - into the Go Gold box on this page, and get cracking!