Yesterday I bought a new pair of boots in the sales. Brown leather ankle boots with a wedge heel. I already have the same style in beige suede and they're so comfortable but smart that I was chuffed to buy the new ones at half price. Result!
Today I made a purchase that - as soon as I bought it - I knew was a waste of the £21.45 it cost. While browsing the net I came across a newspaper horoscope from an astrologer who - when I was younger - always seemed accurate to me. I hadn't heard of him for a while, but for some reason felt compelled to buy his year long forecast for me, a Sagittarian born at a certain time in a certain place, during certain celestial patterns in the sky.
The forecast, called Year Ahead: Your Guide to the Future, arrived within seconds of the payment being validated. My, that astrologer works fast.
Within seconds of it arriving in my inbox I had opened the forecast and scanned through all 73 pages of it. 73 pages! I'm pretty sure that if I were so inclined I could find a horological reason for every decision, event or incident that will happen next year. Every single permutation of how I might feel or what I may choose to do is outlined in those 73 pages. For every day next year I could point to a line in the forecast that accounts for whatever happens, because I could read whatever I want into it. The astrologer himself even admits in the foreword that:
"Never forget that you have a choice about what happens in your world. If you want to be happier, you can be... regardless of what it going on in the sky. Likewise, if you are really determined enough to give yourself a hard time, you can probably manage it no matter how bright the astrological influences are!!!"
Well, thanks for that Mr Astrologer. What he doesn't mention is how foolish I would feel after spending £21.45 on his forecast. What a complete waste of money.
Still, at least I have my new dishwasher knob.