Saturday, 18 April 2009

The Harry High Pants No-No List

The lovely and very talented Sunday has spurred me on to compile a list of things that might put you off a man. Well, not so much men but potential boyfriends.

My previous post illustrated how shallow I am when I took a sartorial dislike to White Sock Man. Fortunately, almost everyone who commented (save dear patient Yummy Mummy) said the exact same thing: white socks on a man are a no-no. A crime against fashion. Unless he's wearing trainers and about to go out for a run that is. And as Grumpyoldwoman correctly points out, the only thing worse is white socks with sandals!

Sunday also contributed her latest off-putter (if that's not in the English dictionary it should be). She went out on a first date with a man who, when it came to paying the bill, produced a discount voucher. Hmmm.....I don't mind discount vouchers, but that's the sort of thing you might use with a friend but on a first date? Yep, I agree that is an off-putter.

She also pointed out her aversion to The Man Bag. Surely only David Beckham can get away (just) with wearing one of these? Which reminds me, don't go to Germany if you hate man bags - they are very popular there and have been for years. I lived there over 20 years ago and man bags were very much the norm.


Audi, who has a very keen sense of style, also had some suggestions. How about men who wear sweats in public? I'm thinking this means tracksuits and/or jogging bottoms? Absolutely! This is just lazy dressing in my book, and one of my own personal pet hates is men who wear football shirts as casual wear. Why do men wear these hideous things? If I met a man wearing one and he wasn't going to/coming back from a football match, then that would be a real warning sign. Audi also hates men wearing Crocs. So say all of us! Why, why, why?

I also offer for your consideration the following:

Men with soft hands. Yes, you read that correctly. Soft hands on a man are so wrong. Many years ago I took an interest in a friend of a friend who was funny and intelligent. I was really taking a like to him until our hands touched (can't remember why) and his hands were softer than mine. Noooooo! Call me petty, but it turned me off in an instant.

And finally, men wearing wooden beads. For goodness sake! Look at this photo at the very attractive Richard Hammond who has spoiled his whole look with those flippin' beads. NO!

Clearly, the fact that I've been single for so long doesn't make me any less picky. And they say beggars can't be choosers?

Of course, I know many of you are married but cast your mind back to your single days.....what were your red flags when it came to men? Obviously I'll take it as read that you avoided bigots, misogynists, racists, bullys and cheats. But what about the little things, or maybe not so little things that you were just unable to overlook? Go on, tell all. You're amongst friends...

29 comments:

Maternal Tales said...

Ha ha ha. Like it. Can't say I mind the wooden beads too much, but am with you on the crocs and the football shirts and the man bags. My own personal favourite are ankle swingers (trousers that are too short, although meant to be long). My husband is French and I think it's a very mediterranean thing...when I met him all his trousers barely skimmed his ankles. They went very quickly! Following on from soft hands - bitten fingernails are a no-no. It just looks ugly...

Katherine said...

CROCS!!! OMG, I am with you here Crocs may be practical but I just find them wrong; they're a sort of jellybean shoe for the 21st century. Men with beads? Noooo, no, no, no! I was always a bit wary of men who were in touch with their feminine side, claiming an interest in your menstrual cycle and sympathising with your raging PMT...you are a man...GO AWAY and let me be crazy at my leisure, you have no place in my hormonal world! Mind you, a lot of things wind me up, I'm surprised I actually managed to get a boyf. (the one I have is blunt and tactless; it was destiny really!)

lunarossa said...

Hi there! Hope you're well. Back in the UK...Just peeped out of the plane and I wished I was back iin Italy! Why is the wind always so cold here? Anyway, I agree with your comments and I'd like to add that I cannot stand men that dye their hair and that use fake tan. Have a nice Sunday. Ciao. Antonella

metscan said...

Hi! My first visit on your site. This topic is just so funny and I´m totally with you on everything. Half naked men with shorts and a big belly, Yak- they really turn me off. How about cowboy hats worn outside Texas? Rings, other than the engagement/wedding ring? I hate also shirts with buttons opened too low, revealing a hairy chest. I don´t fancy shoes worn without socks; sandals and sailing shoes make an exception. Socks should be long enough,not revealing the skin.

sallymandy said...

I am laughing OUT LOUD because I've just come over to your blog after answering all the wonderful, super, uplifting, joyous comments people made to my post about my 16th anniversary. About my wonderful hubby, whom I'm so lucky to have, whom I love so much, who gave me sixteen roses and sixteen tulips for our sixteenth anniversary, and came to our anniversary dinner wearing socks (white) with sandals. I'm not kidding.

Love is...what is it again? Accepting, looking beyond the superficial, oh geez sometimes it's so humbling!!!

A few red flags from pre-married days. Men who take more time to get ready than I do. Men who say "nukular." Men who put their heads on MY shoulder in a movie.

Thank you for visiting my blog!

Imogen Lamport said...

Lots of gold jewellery, pinkie rings, gold bracelets on men, chest hair creeping over the top of shirt collars.

notSupermum said...

Maternal Tales, funny isn't it that when women see potential in a man they still have to fix their dodgy clothes?! I agree on the fingernails too.

Katherine, oooh we're in agreement on the beads and the crocs then. Men in touch with their feminine side have their place I think, but not as a boyfriend - you're right.

Antonella, lovely to have you back again. Oh yes, hair dye on men, why? I actually love men who are going grey I think it's soooo attractive, so why dye it? Fake tan, also a no-no.

notSupermum said...

Metscan, hello and thanks for visiting! I have to agree with all of your list - I especially dislike too much jewellery on a man, probably as I wear very little it's wrong for men to have more than me on! And what is it about portly men who think they can get away with shorts and unbuttoned shirts? Yuk!

Sallymandy - glad you had a good chuckle! I think what you have there is true love, so much so you can overlook the socks with sandals. Bless.

Imogen, yep all of those are turn-offs. I'm totally with you on the jewellery thing.

More than Just a Mother said...

Jewellery. Oh, and make-up. In fact, basically I like my men to be MEN, not metrosexual, androgenous dates who moisturise and read their horoscopes.

Sunday said...

OMG! I laughed so much to see you run with this theme! I am with all of the above, (possibly why I am still single too!) and would like to add pastel coloured shirts. A deep rose, fine, but any colour that is commonly used for baby clothing should be avoide at all costs. Along with thin belts. And gold chains. And shiny pants. Especially all at once.

Maybe we could print little post-it notes with style tips and stick them on any offenders we might spot?!?

Sunday said...

Or steer them towards The Sartorialist's website?

Jane said...

Those dirty cotton bracelets that teenagers give each other (friendships bracelets) - no man over 19 should wear them.

see you there! said...

I think there really is something worse than white socks.

Comb-overs. You know the three strands of hair trying to cover 3/4of a bald head?

I actually like bald - or shaved heads.


Darla

La Belette Rouge said...

I just watched the "Darjeeling Limited" again this weekend and I thought how cute the guys looked in their suits and the woodedn beads. But, I am very ant-crocs, white socks,gold jewelry and God forbid diamonds, dressing like an adolescent boy and too much mans-scaping. I do buy my weasels Kiehl's Intensive hand Cream as I enjoy a soft hand.;-)

notSupermum said...

MTJAM - I hear what you're saying! I like men not boys. That reminds me, that deconstructed male Gene Hunt is back on TV tonight in Ashes to Ashes. Now he's a nice bit of rough.

Sunday, Ha! I called your bluff then?! Glad your enjoying reading it, and yes do you think the fact we have long lists of no-nos has anything to do with our single status?!

Jane, ooh they sound horrible. I can imagine Peter Pan types might think they are 'cool' wearing those!

notSupermum said...

Darla - or a man wearing white socks, sandals and sporting a comb-over? Can you imagine going on a blind date and being confronted by those? I don't mind bald or shaven heads either, it's never been an issue for me.

La Belette, I agree with your list too. I really dislike lots of jewellery on men, but I particularly hate earrings. One is tolerable, but TWO?! Noooooo! And those big diamond ones that footballers seem to like? Yuk.

grumpyoldwoman said...

Having just returned from holiday my current pet-hate is men in skin-tight swimming trunks that come up almost to their navels and dont quite cover their bum cheeks - ew, gross!

Lisa said...

very good list supermum- i don't get the whole crops thing and cant understand why anyone would want to wear them- i love wooden beads but not on my man and the shopper docket to pay for tea.........??? groan xx

Sunday said...

I have been laughing so much at this list - having just returned from aqua aerobics I am with you on too tight, too brief swimming trunks. Way too much information!!!

I also realised that we have missed a big one. This is a crime fortunately sportrd mostly by younger men, but it remains a crime none the less - pants soooo low in the back it's a miracle they are still up at all. I really don't care what brand underwear you're wearing, especially when it's faded and baggy/saggy!!

As for comb-overs - what ARE they thinking??? I'm hoping that this is dying out with that generation, I too am in favour of the no 1 or 2 cut, with what's left, and definitely au natural in colour.

Yes notSupermum, I'm afarid this is why we're still single! Most of the 'snappy' dressers I know are gay. Shame.

rosiescribble said...

Brilliant! I hadn't heard about soft hands, I'll have to watch out for that one. I totally agree with the wooden beads, don't know what would possess any grown-up male to wear them. Just odd.

notSupermum said...

Grumpyoldwoman - that reminds me of when I was a very innocent 19 year old going to Italy and seeing lots of men on the beach in the skimpiest little swimming briefs - so brief in fact, the outline of EVERYTHING was clear for everyone to see, and they were so low cut there was hair peeking out of the top. Gross!

Lisa, what sort of crops do you mean? Crop tops, or cropped trousers? Or is there some Australian fashion going on with crops?

Sunday, sigh, I think I'm destined to be single for a looooong time at this rate. Btw, when is your date? At least you're going on dates!

Rosie, the soft hands thing is just my particular dislike - La Belette likes men to have soft hands!

Sunday said...

Hi notSupermum, I haven't arranged the date yet - I am paralysed by fear! I think it's up to me to call this week, as I was the instigator but it's been so long since I've been on a date I feel awkward, and don't want to make an idiot of myself.

I also don't want to be single forever!

notSupermum said...

Sunday - DO IT! Nothing ventured and all that? Go on, call him now.....

Yummy Mummy said...

Crocs, crocs on men, babies, and women too. Combovers. I'll fitting suits. Brown pants, not kaki but brown. Oh and harry toes on men. A little hair is ok but please I do not want to see a forest sticking out from under your sandals. Oh the list goes on and on.

Mervat said...

I have to agree with La Belette that diamonds *have* to be an absolute no-no. I also hate gold jewellery and definite no-no is the man bag. And I also rest safe in the knowledge that my hubby dislikes these looks as well!

Great post!

notSupermum said...

Yummy, that's quite a list you have there! I wondered what a harry toe was for a minute but have figured it out now!

Mervat, thanks! I wonder, did you husband have good taste when you first met him or did you have to whip him into shape?

Mervat said...

Funny you should ask! Twenty years ago my husband sported a moustache and pants with the turned out hem...lucky for me and him I managed to cajole both out of him! He generally takes my opinion on board...he is 1.9 cm tall and I have lately succeeded with getting him out of tapered pants! They do not do anybody any favours!

Karen said...

Oh jeez. I couldn't stand a Member's Only jacket on a man in the 80s!!! One boyfriend wore a huge gold eagle pendant round his neck on a thick chain; one day I 'hid' it behind a large armoire. I don't suppose he ever found it.

notSupermum said...

Mervat, ha, I thought so! I think meeting a man is like looking at houses - when you see potential in one it's worth the time and trouble to make the changes.

Karen, your comment made me laugh. What about your husband, did he have style when you first met him? Or did you have to 'tweak' his wardrobe?