Friday, 12 June 2009

More dispatches from the chalkface

Following on from my previous post about the funny things children do at school, here's some more. These have all happened to me or one of my colleagues.

During an arts lesson in the reception class (4 and 5 year olds) Tommy is looking a bit sheepish, and is sitting next to a desk with his hands underneath.

Teacher: What are you doing Tommy?
Tommy: Nuffink Miss.
Teacher: What have you got in your hands then?
Tommy: Nuffink Miss
Teacher: OK then, sit back in your chair and let me see what you're doing....
Tommy sits back to reveal a big hole in his jumper and he is holding a pair of (safety) scissors.
Teacher: Tommy! have you cut a hole in your jumper?
Tommy: (without any hesitation) No Miss, my belly button exploded.

In a science lesson, discussing healthy eating with 6 and 7 year olds.
Me: So, what did you have for breakfast this morning?
Milly: My Dad made me some strangled eggs.

Small child asks a teacher, "Is your name Mrs Smith?"
Teacher: "No, my name is Mrs Jones."
Small child: "Oh. Mrs Jones, is your name Mrs Smith?"

During storytime while I'm reading Percy the Park Keeper's Ducks to a class of 6 - 7 year olds.
We're up to a part of the story where we know something has happened to the ducks on the pond, and before turning the page to carry on I ask the class what they think may have happened.
Joseph: Well, I think there has been a genetic mutation and some of them have been killed off. (What??)

In a class of 5 - 6 year olds. There is a bit of a commotion between a boy and a girl. The girl comes over to the teacher looking very indignant.
Teacher: Is everything OK?
Girl: No, he was being really nasty to me.
Teacher: Well ask him to come over to me so I can speak to him please.
Girl: Oh no, it's ok now. I told him that if he doesn't stop being nasty to me I'll have to have a word with his social worker.

Out of the mouths of babes...


Kathryn said...

Pop over to my place - you've been tagged!

La Belette Rouge said...

I have had strangled eggs. They are the kind that have the life cooked out of them. Dry and confetti like.
LOL!! Hilarious post!!!

Rebel Mother said...

Loved it! Arent kids funny? RMx

Sunday said...

Very funny!!!

Have replied to your comment on mine. Any development with the teacher???

sallymandy said...

Hilarious! It's great to record these somehow, because one never remembers them as much as we might like.

I've been meaning to thank you for all the generous comments at my blog in recent week or two. I appreciate you. ♥

That Girl said...

Fantastic... especially the social worker one! Maybe a sign of the times though?

Welsh Girl said...

I needed a giggle, and you have provided! Thank you!