I am a constant embarrassment to the Teenager-in-waiting. I know I am, because she tells me. Often.
I laugh too much. I laugh too loud (especially in the cinema where she refuses to sit next to me). I ask her friends embarrassing questions (Would you like to stay for dinner? What is your favourite subject at school?) I say 'groovy' and 'cool' in front of her friends, which is just Not On. I like to think I use them in an ironic, humorous way - but no, those words are banned.
This week we found another word she doesn't think I should use. As we were driving through town we saw a fire engine parked at the side of the road. Some of the fireman were standing nearby, talking. "Oooh, he's fit" I said, nodding in the direction of one of the older men. "OH MY GOD! Mum, you are so not allowed to say that!" shrieked the TiW, nearly taking out one of my eardrums with the ferocity of her words. "Not allowed to say what?" I asked, knowing full well what the answer was. "Fit!" she shrieked again "You shouldn't be saying that at your age!"
You've got to laugh haven't you?
Today, she was going on a school trip and I packed a lunch and some drinks for her. "Mum, can I have one of those bottles of mineral water in the cupboard, the ones with the sports top". I said she could have one, and then went to get ready to take her to school. I returned to the kitchen to see her emptying the mineral water into the sink, and refilling the bottle with tap water. "What are you doing!?" I said, "that's a new bottle of water". "What?!" came the reply "I'm not drinking mineral water it tastes like poo." Of course.
I dropped the TiW off at the school and instead of returning home as I had planned, I decided to drive into town to do a bit of shopping. In 20 minutes I was parking in a retail park where I knew I could get the items I wanted. Unfortunately, as I stepped out of the car I realised I was still wearing my slippers. Arrghhh!