Thursday, 13 August 2009

Things that have been bothering me

Why is it that whenever I want to cook fried eggs I always manage to break the yolk, but when I'm doing scrambled eggs the yolks are always intact?

This one has been bothering me for years: What on earth does the Queen have in her handbag on Remembrance Day? Whatever it is, it must be important because she doesn't let go of once, not even when she's laying the wreath of poppies. I'm guessing it's her Lotto slip, and a packet of Woodbines. No?


Why do your lovely, sweet children turn into seething teenagers just as you are becoming menopausal? Teenager tantrums and menopausal symptoms are not my combination of choice. Why would Mother Nature play such a cruel trick?
And another thing, why is it that when you are driving behind a slow moving/erratically driven/unsure driver it almost always turns out to be a 'mature' man wearing a hat? Ever noticed that? Why are they always wearing hats?

And don't get me started on my hair! Why does it always look fantastic just before a hair appointment? After a few Bad Hair Weeks your hair colludes to look good just before you have to pay out dosh to have it redone. Pah!

OK, rant over. Thanks for listening, it's good to get things off my chest. Feel free to rant away in return, I promise to listen patiently and agree with everything you say.

And yes, it's that time of the month....

24 comments:

see you there! said...

Oh dear... don't get me started, LOL!

I love your thoughts on the contents of the Queen's purse.

Darla

Insomniac Mummy said...

You're so right about the hair thing.

It is a conspiracy! ;)

Kristen said...

In the Queen's purse I picture her favorite lipstick and a small autographed picture of Alan Rickman.

And I remember the days of good hair/bad hair. It is so true.

Hot Cross Mum said...

Oh you're SO right on the hair thing. Having just that dilemma myself at the moment! As for Queenie's handbag, I'm guessing some Werther's Originals, a Corgi and her Nintendo DS?

Dan said...

I think everyone should wear hats. I'd love to wear a 30's style hat, but no doubt would get stoned in the street should I try it.

Do they even make woodbines any more?

Iota said...

Queen's handbag: powder compact with mirror, minty breath-freshener spray, a couple of condoms and a clean pair of knickers because you never know when you might get lucky.

My rant of the day involves the way tissues disintegrate when one gets into the washing machine in the pocket of a pair of trousers, and then all your laundry has little white specks all over it.

Iota said...

Sorry. Was that really tasteless and disrespectful? Sorry.

notSupermum said...

Darla, there's a TV show called Grumpy Old Women here where women of a certain age talk about their current irritations with life. I'm thinking of auditioning!

Tessa, a rant is good occasionally isn't it? Hmm, tissues are a possibility.

Insomniac Mum - hi again, glag you agree!

Kirsten - oh yes, doesn't everyone need a picture of Alan Rickman in their bag?

Hot Cross Mum - great name, thanks for visiting. Werther's Originals - yes, a real possibility!

Dan, you're right I'm not sure they do make Woodies now - in which case, she'll have a packet of cigarette papers and an ounce of Old Holborn.

Iota - are you sure that's not the contents of *your* handbag?! And no, not disrepectful - I'm not a monarchist. And the tissue thing! Ahh, my youngest daughter is always leaving tissues in pockets, it drives me mad.

Maternal Tales said...

Stickers that don't come off but leave a sticky mess all over the pressie that you've just bought... that's my personal gripe. Can't say my hair looks great going into the hairdressers - great perhaps for the one day following but for the next 3 months until the next appointment, sadly not great at all!! You're luckier than me! xx

DolceDreams said...

Oh I love it all, so very true and you have got me worried about the teen/menopause combo, I think shall just have to "check out" somewhere for a few years when my boys get there! The Queen's purse is hysterical...favourite lipstick by chance? Got me thinking...
Nathalie

La Belette Rouge said...

You rant, girl!!! Don't bottle it up. Let it all out. :-) Hope you are feeling less bothered.
Have a lovely weekend!

notSupermum said...

Emily/Maternal Tales - yes, those stickers! Even worse is when you buy it in the sale and the sale sticker won't budge.

Dolce - oh yes, plan ahead if the teenage/menopause thing is in your future!

La belette - thanks, my weekend's looking good so far! What has happened to your hand? I'm a little concerned that I've missed news. Are you OK?

Martini Mummy said...

Why is it that the one day you've arranged for a lie in, you wake up bright eyed and ready to go at 6.30am? And why is this always a Sunday?

Why do cards for newborn babies say 'New Baby'? What's an old baby? Shouldn't they say 'Newborn baby'?

And what, in the name of all that is holy, is the point of the District Line? I could walk quicker...

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Hi, came over here from THE WRITING INSTINCT. Loved, just loved your rant. Have been bothered by similar quandaries over the decades. My especial favourite is, "why does it never rain when I take my umbrella along, and why does it always rain when I am wearing white?"

Liz (LivingwithKids) said...

Just wanted to say thanks so much for your kind comment on my blog about the dog - I wrote the post when I was still in shock and it's really starting to hit home now that he's gone. Lizx

Anonymous said...

You reminded of a book called " Butter side up" by that marvellous zany prof - Magnus Pike (or was it Pyke?) - anyway I can't remember this or any other explanation!
33 years of assaulting my brain with various toxins (I'm assuming the first 15 years of my life were free of such abuse).

And I think the Queen's choice of puff would be Consulate, which would accompany a wallet full of photos of her corgis (but not Charles et al).

notSupermum said...

Martini Mum - thanks for visiting, and I'm so in agreement with you! The early waking is a real pain isn't it? And have you ever noticed in card shops that the get well cards are right next to the sympathy cards? A bit pessimistic I think.

Sucharita, thanks for visiting - I love Mervat's blog too! Yes, the umbrella problem. Even worse, I went out the other day and it started to rain but it was only when I got home I realised I'd had a umbrella in my bag. Arggh!

Anon - thanks for the comment. Do you remember that other ciggy called Park Drive? Or Navy Cut? I imagine she likes a strong smoke. Magnus Pyke was so popular once wasn't he? We need more eccentrics like him.

notSupermum said...

Liz,
you're welcome. Having just got my first dog, and understanding how quickly they become a part of the family, I can appreciate the grief you must all be feeling. Take care x

Jasie VanGesen said...

My goodness gracious, I'm so glad I'm not the only one whose hair does that! And I totally know what you're talking about with the old men in hats. My father always told me when I was little, "Don't get stuck driving behind an old man in a hat."

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

award for you over at mine. x

PippaD said...

Ooooh and why does the phone ring when you get in the bath or shower? And why does someone bring something down for the dark wash just as you have done the last dark load? And why when you are in a hurry do your children decide that the floor is made of glue...I could go on but I had better stop before I work myself into a tizzy!

The Writing Instinct said...

Rant away dear friend. We are all entitled to the odd rant or six!

And love your observations as to the contents of Her Majesty's purse...and its always so tiny too, don't you think?

metscan said...

Oh yes, I came up with another one. The narrowish road in front of me is clear from traffic. Then suddenly, I see a boy on a bicycle in front of me, a girl walking her dog. On the field beside me is a horse with a cart and then I notice a car coming towards me. Why is it that we all meet together at the same point at the very same time? Is this the Murphy´s law in action ?

Hectic mum said...

Maybe the Queen keeps pepper spray in her little bag just incase a crazy Royalist fan pops up, or maybe a Mars Bar for when she's feel a tak peckish! Loved reading your rant, totall agree with the Hair comment.