Why is it that whenever I want to cook fried eggs I always manage to break the yolk, but when I'm doing scrambled eggs the yolks are always intact?
This one has been bothering me for years: What on earth does the Queen have in her handbag on Remembrance Day? Whatever it is, it must be important because she doesn't let go of once, not even when she's laying the wreath of poppies. I'm guessing it's her Lotto slip, and a packet of Woodbines. No?
Why do your lovely, sweet children turn into seething teenagers just as you are becoming menopausal? Teenager tantrums and menopausal symptoms are not my combination of choice. Why would Mother Nature play such a cruel trick?
And another thing, why is it that when you are driving behind a slow moving/erratically driven/unsure driver it almost always turns out to be a 'mature' man wearing a hat? Ever noticed that? Why are they always wearing hats?
And don't get me started on my hair! Why does it always look fantastic just before a hair appointment? After a few Bad Hair Weeks your hair colludes to look good just before you have to pay out dosh to have it redone. Pah!
OK, rant over. Thanks for listening, it's good to get things off my chest. Feel free to rant away in return, I promise to listen patiently and agree with everything you say.
And yes, it's that time of the month....