Saturday, 27 February 2010

"Mum, I think you should get a boyfriend"

Tall daughter came to me the other day and, completely out of the blue, said "Mum, I think you should get a boyfriend".  When I asked her why she said she thought I was lonely.  A few days later The Teenager said "Mum, why don't you get yourself a boyfriend then you might be less grumpy."  Grumpy?  Moi? Surely some mistake...

Hmmm.  I don't really consider myself to be lonely either, although I do occasionally miss having a special man to share life with.  On the other hand, men are such hard work - or at least the ones I've had relationships with have been, which brings me to the most important issue here:  I am notoriously bad - appalling even - at picking men.  My track record does not look great:

~ I was 22 before I had my first serious boyfriend;
~ when that relationship hit the skids after 2 years it took me another two years to get over it;
~ I then had a succession of short relationships with very unsuitable men;
~ I embarked on a 9 year on-off relationship with a distant but charming Irishman;
~ that was followed by my relationship and marriage to a high-maintenance, highly-strung man who became a nightmare to live with;
~ when he left, well when he was pushed, I had a short-term relationship with a man who then decided to go back to his ex-wife (yes, really);
~ since then I've been celibate single for over 6 years.

But where on earth are women in their late 40s supposed to meet men? The idea of even trying to find a boyfriend fills me with dread.  Incidentally, are you allowed to use the term 'boyfriend' when you're pushing fifty or is it contravening some obscure European law?  

I don't go out much and I don't fancy trying internet dating even though I know other people who have used them successfully. If I could just fill out a form and someone could arrange for a suitable man to introduce himself, well, that would be just perfect.

My lovely Mum used to say - half in jest, half in all seriousness - that I shouldn't be allowed to choose another partner.  She suggested that there should be a panel of people (friends and family) who should choose someone for me.  I think she had a point because I no longer trust my own judgement when it comes to men.  So, if anyone wants to volunteer to choose a man for me, please let me know.