Friday, 12 November 2010

Dear So and So...

Dear So and So...

Dear Mr Sissy Houseboy (your choice of name, not mine)
Thanks for contacting me via the dating website but I'm going to have to turn down your offer of a date. Even though my house looks like we've been burgled when we thankfully haven't, your choice of date where 'some sort of housework is involved' doesn't really do it for me.  I'll also pass on your offer of letting you clean my house whilst wearing a pinny. 
Thanks though - nice thought and all that :-)
From someone who is getting ready to delete her profile on the site.

Dear 3:30am
What is it about you that makes me wake up?  If I wake during the night and can't get back to sleep it's at 3:30am, every time.  It would be fascinating if I wasn't so completely knackered. 
Yours, the one with dark circles under her eyes


Dear darling daughters,
I write this as you are both having birthday sleepovers, which is one of the pitfalls of having your birthdays one day apart.  Every year I think it'll be fine, yet every year I wonder why I even considered doing it.  What possessed me to allow 14 hormonal, giggling girls whose motto seems to be "why talk when you can shout" to stay overnight is beyond me.
I'm exhausted already and it's only 8:30pm.  And to my dear Teenager, if you ask me why I'm tired and 'what the big deal is about having a few friends over' again I will scream. Really loudly.
Your catatonic Mum xx 
p.s. Love you both loads xx