Tuesday, 9 November 2010

The Teenager's Guide to replacing the toilet roll

Question ~ Do you know what this is?

Is it:  a) a toilet roll holder, or
 b) I dunno, why are you picking on me?

If you answered a) then you are clearly a parent.  If your answer was b) then you must be a TEENAGER!  If  so, the following information may be useful to you.

This is an empty - repeat EMPTY - toilet roll. This sort of thing happens when you use the last of the toilet roll. When this happens you must replace it.  How so? I hear you ask.  Well this guide will help you achieve this rite of passage.

Follow these steps very carefully:
  • search the vast caverns of the bathroom for the new toilet rolls. Clue:  they tend to hang around in groups;
  • with extreme care for your safety (wear safety goggles - or your old swimming goggles from the bathroom cupboard - if necessary) take one of the new rolls and proceed to the empty toilet roll holder;
  • carefully remove the empty cardboard inner, and place in a bin.  If you don't know what a 'bin' looks like, ask an adult for advice;
  • now, with a steady hand and watching out for any sharp edges,  hold the new roll to the right hand side of the toilet roll holder and slide it along until it sits on the holder.  For visual assistance please note the following:

This is wrong!

That's what it should look like!

If you have managed to get the toilet roll onto the holder without putting yourself in any danger, give yourself a well earned ten-minute lie down. Well done. You deserve it.  Clearly, your mother is "an evil slavedriver" but you will manage to keep her sane if you can follow simple instructions like these.  Thank you.

Next lesson: How to put dishes into the dishwasher.