Me, during an RE lesson looking at an image of a baby being Christened: Can anyone tell me what is happening here?
Michael: Yes, the baby is being christened.
Me: Well done. What happens during a christening?
Michael: The baby is taken into church to be sacrificed.
Alexander (aged 9): Well, if it was me, I would take it home, clean it up, feed it and use it for drug smuggling.
TD: I'd like to start dance lessons Mum, can you find out if there are any around?
Me: Okay, what sort of dance class are you thinking of?
TD: I don't mind. (pause) But I don't want to go to one of those classes that's been set up by a mad woman who's been dumped by her boyfriend and is angry with everyone.