No, I don't know where your PE shorts/French book/phone/hairbrush/shoes are.
You have to eat some breakfast. A doughnut isn't a healthy option is it? Not even with a glass of orange juice.
I'm leaving in 5 minutes. I'm not waiting for you. I'm going. This is me going out to the car. Oh, for goodness sake get in the car!
Can I have the laptop I have some work to do. What do you mean blogging/Facebook/Twitter isn't work?
Love you, have a great day!
Hi, sweetie, how was your day? Really, that bad?
Can someone set the table please? Is anyone listening to me? Anyone?
How are we supposed to eat without cutlery?
Why aren't you eating your dinner? You liked it last time I cooked it. Yes, it's the same meal. No, you're not allergic to chicken/broccoli/cabbage.
Whose turn is it to unload the dishwasher? Anybody?
Pick up that wet towel off the floor. Who put the wet towel on the banister? Why is there a wet towel on the sofa? STOP LEAVING WET TOWELS ON MY BED!
No, I don't know why your Dad would say that. I don't know why anyone would say it.
Why is there straw in my bedroom? You know the guinea pigs are not allowed on the sofa/bed/table.
Yes, she's a cute guinea pig. No, we can't get any more.
No, I don't think you have swine flu/pneumonia/leprosy. I'm sure you'll be ok to go to school tomorrow.
You have to be in by 9pm. I don't care what your friends are allowed to do. I'm sure their parents are cool too. Yes, I'm evil but I can live with it.
Have you done your homework? Why have you left it so late to do it? No, I'm not going to write a note for your teacher to say that you had an important family occasion and couldn't do it. Yes, I'm a horrible mum.
The lovely Susie from New Day, New Lesson reminded me of this fantastic Mum Song, which will have you laughing in recognition.