Tuesday, 14 June 2011

How to fall over like an old lady

Three years ago I slipped on the ice outside school and injured my leg. I had to take some time off work.

Two years ago I tripped on the pavement outside my house and fell into the road. I injured my hip, arm and ribs and was off work for a couple of weeks.

Yesterday I took the hound out for a walk and as we were walking across a field I realised we were walking towards a duck pond. Bearing in mind our recent mishap with the canal, I decided to change direction, stepped into a hole and propelled my considerable weight onto the ground hurting my arm, side and - ouch - ribs. I lay on the ground for about 5 minutes, slightly dazed and unable to move apart from lifting my head to see Tessie running around me in circles and occasionally coming over to nudge my head. I could also see a man sitting on a park bench about 200 yards away, and he could see me but stayed on the bench. Another man walked past me as I lay on the ground, but didn't stop.

Anyway, somehow I managed to get up, put Tessie back on her lead and get home again (with several stops along the way).  I spent the evening sitting motionless in an armchair, with the girls trying to look after things.

The Teenager is angry with me because in her words "you're like a 90 year old, you keep falling over". Well, three times in as many years, but still, it's not good is it?

I'm feeling pretty stupid this morning. I had to get in touch with the Headteacher to tell her why I'd be off today, but I took the coward's way out and texted her. I was too embarrassed to tell her over the phone. I mean how many times can you fall over before people start thinking you've got a (drink) problem?

So, to conclude - falling over is not big and it's not clever. Try not to follow my lead.