Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Guest Post: Fun?

I'm on holiday so have invited a lovely guest blogger to take over the reins. Older Single Mum is new  to the blogging world, please give her a warm welcome.


The Lodger said to me in a quiet voice – which is still apt to throw me after the rampaging lunatic previously masquerading as a husband who, for such a very reason now no longer lives here – ‘What is the common thread?’

Interesting, I mused. ‘Not enough fun’ was my reply.

We had been discussing the shortcomings of my friends’ various husbands and their recent moans about basic requests being ignored. Could they mow the lawn while the wife was out with the children? Pick up milk? Just sweep up the childrens’ breakfast crumbs?

It seems not.

One lady has to deliberately NOT ask her husband for what she wants done, suggest it needs doing but make out it is something else she requires, if he wouldn’t mind awfully and the reverse psychology does the trick. Who has got the time for all that jazz? Who has the energy?

I’d much rather be a single parent and know the goddamn it’s all down to me, thank you very much.

Yes, our eyes might be closed as we sweep the floor when the little ones are in bed, or they are inclined to make the job ten times as long by ‘helping’ and we know how desperate we are for a cuppa when we get home, so aren’t likely to forget - or aren’t too lazy – to pick up some milk on the way back from our days out with them.

The lawn doesn’t get mown, or, truth be told, when it really has grown to be unbearable and the children can’t find their footballs in it, very occasionally, I throw £15 at a local gardener and hey presto - it does.

It’s really not that complicated, men. Just listen to us. And make us laugh.

The power of ‘crossing ones legs’ was discussed by older women than me in an office where I worked, before that could possibly mean anything to one so young, and in this fabulous company the other day, I passed on these well worn whispers of wisdom, suggesting they ‘withhold.’

Well it was a giggle, all right, but it wasn’t really that funny. These women aren’t happy when their men play computer games while they could be making themselves useful.

Women work super hard, married or single and they deserve appreciation and respect.

One has been ‘withholding’ for so many years, it has lost its effect! Another, younger one, refuses steadfastly to ‘put out.’ Such an old fashioned approach, yet such stupid old fashioned gits of husbands deserve no better.

It’s not so bad on the single side of the fence sometimes. At least you know where you are. And - please don’t tell anyone – we might be more knackered, but at least it’s only the children who make fun of us.