Tuesday, 25 October 2011

The best and worst of times

We're very nearly packed up and ready to move, but not before going through every single one of our belongings and deciding which ones are worth taking with us. A process that is both comforting and unsettling.

Sifting through children's books, games and toys that my daughters used and enjoyed has been bittersweet. We found their once favourite dolphin swing-seat at the back of the shed and a discarded bag of bath toys in the airing cupboard. Looking through their favourite story books and remembering how they would play for hours with certain toys has evoked so many happy memories, but has also emphasised the fact that they are growing up and there is little room in their lives for toys these days.

Yesterday we took a car load of toys, books and games to our local charity shop and said goodbye to part of their childhood.

It's been comforting to look at, and handle, things that evoke happy memories - reminders of my parents, my late brother's harmonica, well-read books with inscriptions from friends and mementos of holidays and special occasions.

Then there is the emotional charge attached to bits and pieces that were collected with my ex-husband. Some remind me of a happier time when we first moved into this house and we were full of plans for a future together. We visited a reclamation yard one weekend, it was a warm, sunny day and my husband was carrying our then toddler daughter around the yard on his shoulders. We went into a covered area and found and old church pew and knew we wanted it for our kitchen where it still resides. We still love the pew and it'll come with us to the new house.

Then there's the bulging file of paperwork relating to our divorce and the nasty aftermath, most of which will be shredded before we move.

We're all excited about moving house and for my two girls it's the start of a new adventure. This is the only house they've ever known, we moved here when the Teenager was just 6 months old and her sister was born 3 years later.

For me, it's that fresh start I've been longing for. I've been feeling for a while that change was on the horizon and this feels like it. I'm excited.