To live without love is merely existing

I read this a couple of days ago and haven't been able to get it out of my head.

I would rather risk my heart to the possibility 

of pain, than to never feel love again. 

To live without love is merely existing. 

There is no greater pain than that.

Is that what I've been doing for the last 9 years? It's beginning to feel like it, but it's the possibility of pain that I'm afraid of.