Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Freaks: short stories by Caroline Smailes and Nik Perring

By Caroline Smailes & Nik Perring,
 illustrated by Darren Craske
Once again I'm chuffed to be able to host a short story from a new book.

FREAKS is a bizarre collection of short stories each featuring a character with a superpower.

These darkly humorous stories explore the more disturbing consequences of ordinary, flawed human beings obtaining superpowers.

Meet The Photocopier, a woman who can reproduce herself at will and attempts to teach her daughter to do the same.  The man who can break his way into his lovers dream and the woman in My Little Pony pants who likes to be ridden like a Pony (ooerrr!).

There are over fifty freaks and misfits featured in the book which is a collaboration between Caroline Smailes (Like Bees to Honey) and Nik Perring (Not So Perfect) and illustrated by Darren Craske.  Stories aren’t credited so the reader is left to guess which is written by Caroline or Nik.


Invisible 
[Super Power: The ability to make oneself unseen to the naked eye]

If I stay totally still,
if I stand right tall,
with me back against the school wall,
close to the science room’s window,
with me feet together,
pointing straight,
aiming forward,
if I make me hands into tight fists,
make me arms dead straight,
 if I push me arms into me sides,
if I squeeze me thighs,
stop me wee,
if me belly doesn’t shake,
if me boobs don’t wobble,
if I close me eyes tight,
so tight that it makes me whole face scrunch,
if I push me lips into me mouth,
if I make me teeth bite me lips together,
if I hardly breathe,
if I don’t say a word.
Then,
I’ll magic meself invisible,
and them lasses will leave me alone.


Paperback Published 12 April 2012, £6.99. The Friday Project ISBN 978-0-00-744289-8