Saturday, 5 May 2012

Welcome to my pity party

Warning: this is a very maudlin post. Apologies in advance.

This week I had a very timely reminder that being a single parent isn't all it's cracked up to be. Seriously.  If there is anyone out there who thinks being a single parent is a doddle you should have been in my shoes this week because this was the week of The Flu. That's real flu, the sort that completely knocks you sideways and makes you sleep like the dead sort of flu.

On Wednesday I started to feel like I had a cold coming on and took some paracetamol at lunch-time. By 3pm I couldn't stop sneezing and felt hot and shivery at the same time. Thursday morning I felt really unwell, but thought it might be a 24-hour virus and would be out of my system quickly.

Fast forward to Friday morning and I was too weak to even get out of bed. My girls had to walk to school (unheard of!) and even had to walk and feed the dog (also unheard of!). In fact, they have pretty much fended for themselves since Wednesday evening and they've not done a bad job but now we've run out of food, I don't have any cash on me and the earliest supermarket delivery I can arrange is for tomorrow.

Being a single parent is fine for 99% of the time, or at least it is for me. We manage okay, the girls and I, and have found our own ways of getting things done. But as soon as I become ill our well-run lives hit the skids.  I'm lucky that they're now older and can at least get some food out of the freezer and cook a meal for themselves.  But I'd still like to have someone here who can go to the pharmacy for me, do some shopping, or just give me a big bear hug and tell me everything is ok.

This all sounds very selfish, and I know I'm wallowing in self-pity, but I'm allowed to - I'm not well. It's at times like this I realise how isolated I am. I don't even have any friends nearby that I'd be comfortable calling and asking for help. Today I do feel slightly  better (well, I'm blogging so that's got to be an improvement) so hopefully I'll be back to normal in a day or so.

This week I've learned two things about myself.
  1. I'm a loner who gets lonely.
  2. I need to do something to improve my health because I hated being so sick this week.
Okay, end of maudlin rant. As you were.