Tuesday, 18 June 2013

A bully, a turning point and realising I've been an idiot.

Japanese proverb

On Sunday I realised two things.

1. I've been a coward.

2. I've been really, really stupid.

I'm a coward because for over ten years I've enabled someone to bully me. I didn't fight back because I was scared of what they might do and - ridiculously - what people might think. I thought some of the people who'd previously referred to me as a 'strong woman' would look at me differently.  And I was right about that because someone I call a friend already has.

I'm stupid because as crazy as it sounds I thought that by not fighting back I was protecting my daughters.

The truth is, it's had the opposite effect. I should have stopped the bullying years ago, but I didn't.

But on Sunday there was a turning point. Something in me changed and instead of keeping my head down and thinking I didn't have the strength to deal with it alone, I confronted my bully and starting fighting back.  It was incredibly scary, but I did it.

And I'm going to continue to fight back. About time too, right?