Sunday, 28 July 2013

One word that describes me? Ooh, let's see...

I've been doing a fair old bit of navel gazing for the last week for various reasons. There's been a lot of...shall we say 'drama' around here lately, and it's led me to review quite a few areas of our lives. It's not been the easiest of times but to be honest, I'm feeling quite optimistic which is quite a change for me.

And then English Mum challenged me to choose one word to describe myself. Easy, right?, it's been really difficult actually.

So I also had a conversation with my daughters and asked them the same question. The Teenager didn't hesitate and said "What's the opposite of confident? That's what you are, you're always doubting yourself." Ouch, but she might have a point there.

Tall Daughter laughed when I asked her and said "I don't want it to sound cheesy, don't make me sound cheesy". She couldn't think of a word either, but finally came up with "You always try your best for us." Ahh, bless. (She's due a pocket money review after that).

In a brave move, I decided to open it up to more people who actually know me - so I asked my friends on Facebook and waited.
Okay, I may regret doing this *glares at English Mum* but can you describe me in one word? Am tempted to ban some words, but will just bite my lip.
Now I have to admit that some of the words were, well, very nice and I'm far to modest to share them here and many of  them made me smile. There were also a few that I accepted more readily including 'loyal' - yes I like to think I am, and 'boozehound'. I'm saying nothing, but nodding furiously.

I also had quite an eye-opening conversation with an ex-boyfriend, who came up with some quite frankly hilarious words to describe me. He used the words 'sexy and confident' to describe me, yes he did. I'll just wait while you have a good laugh...

{pause for raucous laughter}

Ready now?

Okay, they're hilarious and don't fit me at all now, but I haven't seen him for over 20 years and that's his memory of me. Sexy and confident - wow! And a brief chat with a former colleague also elicited the words 'very confident' about me.

And you know what? Once upon a time I was pretty damned sexy and very confident but it's so far removed from the person I am now. In the years since I knew him there's been a  lot of water under the proverbial bridge (nay, a gushing torrent is a better description), and it's left me feeling a bit battered and bruised if I'm honest.

But what if I could try and get some of that confidence back? What would I have to do to be confident again? I'm going to work on that one.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering,  getting my sexy back is a non-starter. Nooooo, that ship has long since sailed...

So what word would I choose for myself? It's really difficult to choose one but my short list included

  • unsociable - I find small talk excruciatingly difficult;
  • independent - this is a strong contender, I've always been very independent;
  • resourceful - I can usually find a way to do something;
  • impatient - I can get very shouty if kept waiting for no reason;
  • protective - it's the mothering instinct innit;
  • laid-back - sometimes to the point of being horizontal;
  • contradictory - can I be laid-back and a worrier at the same time?
In the end the word I've chosen is...

...but come back next year and it might be 'confident'.

Which word would you choose to describe yourself?