Tuesday, 27 May 2014

10 Signs you're the parent of teenagers

You can't scare me I have teenagers
Image from Pinterest

There are plenty of differences between parenting younger children and parenting teenagers, and I know everyone talks about how difficult the teenage years are and so on, but there's also a few things you may not be expecting.

Here's my short-list::

1. They use all of the toiletries. ALL OF THEM! Deodorant, hair stuff, shaving cream, razors (oh, especially razors!) ...you name it, they use it by the bucketload.  You go in the bathroom and every container is empty. What the hell do they do in there?  Actually, don't answer that.

2. If you have teenage daughters you spend an inordinate amount of time waiting outside clothes shops' changing rooms while they try on every single item in the shop, or at least it will seem like it. Your best hope is that your phone has a signal and you can while away the time on twitter bemoaning the fact you're in there. Or you could use the time more productively....

3. You no longer know the names of children's TV shows. In the Night Garden, Dr Ranj, Octonauts, Mr Tumble and Chuggington are all names I'm vaguely aware of but know little about.  I miss the Teletubbies....eh, oh!

4. Your house is probably a 'Frozen' free zone.  I see lots of parents talking about it on twitter, but we haven't seen it, I don't know what it's about (I'm guessing there's a snowman involved?) and we don't sing the songs (although I think I heard 'Let it Go' on the radio last week).  Thing is, I really miss going to the cinema on Saturday mornings to see a film. I love children's films. I might have to borrow a small child and go.

On the other hand, you get to know a lot more about music trends, teenage-friendly films, Youtubers, etc. I know who Zoella is, who the Vamps are and why Divergent is the best film EVAH! Yeah,  I'm down wid da kidz!

5. You get plenty of (usually unwanted) advice about clothes, hair styles, make-up and life in general.  Because teenagers are at the very height of their powers and have an opinion on everything.

6.  You can't help them with their homework.  Not through want of trying, but because you really really don't understand it.  Algebra? GCSE physics? A Level Law? Nah...

7.  Your kids now stay up later than you at weekends and sleep later in the mornings. So no more 5am wake-up calls (yes!) but it does mean at weekends they have to be dragged out of their pits at 2pm.

8. You are constantly on-call as a taxi service. Can you take me there and pick me up from here.  "What's the very latest you can pick me up?" becomes a negotiation I always seem to lose. And when you have more than one teenager that's even more pick-ups and drop-offs. Such fun!

9. They are horrified amazed when you know the words to new covers of old songs and mortified slightly embarrassed when you insist on singing them, loudly.

10. One day they will suddenly be taller than you. It'll happen sooner than you think, and even though you'll ask where your babies went you'll realise they're still there, still your babies, just bloody enormous ones.

p.s. Oh, and even though I'm the parent of teenage girls we do occasionally have boys in the house. Question for parents of teenage boys - how do you afford to feed them? They eat enormous amounts of food! Counting my blessings I've got girls to be honest, based on food bills alone.

They're my signs of being a parent to teens, did I miss anything?