Saturday, 11 October 2014

To follow or not to follow, that is the question

Pooky Rants: Auto DMs are NOT cool

I've been using Twitter since 2009. I enjoy a good chat on there, have made loads of interesting connections and even chatted with the odd celeb or two.

I don't use it everyday, probably more at weekends, but it can be a lot of fun especially if you're watching a big TV event (the 2012 Olympics being a very good example) and everyone is joining in the conversation.

But recently something has upset me.  A blogging friend,  someone I'd been chatting to without incident for years suddenly started to ignore me. And if she wasn't ignoring me she was being rather rude and abrupt with me. More than abrupt actually, downright rude.

If I tweeted them they would either not reply or their response made it clear that that was the end of the conversation.

I know this will seem like a very strange concept to anyone who doesn't use social media regularly, but these online relationships really do matter, to me at least. The connections you make online can become really important, especially at times when maybe you're feeling a bit fed-up. There's nothing like a few online friends to help put things in perspective and make you feel better.

Bloggers in particular are an amazing bunch, and I've had some fantastic pieces of advice on twitter and Facebook over the years, and I've made some genuine friends.

So, this recent incident confused me at first. Then I tried to figure out why it might be happening, and I think I might know why.

This person had been involved in a online conversation that I joined in with. I said I disagreed with her (nothing personal) but she took exception to my comment. In an attempt to resolve the issue I contacted her privately and said that I didn't mean to cause offence if that was what I'd done.  She said it was okay and not to worry and she valued our friendship.

But since then she has pointedly ignored me. And I suppose I could understand it if it wasn't for one thing. There were several other people who also disagreed with her, but I know for a fact she is still chatting with them. So it's just me then.

I mentioned this on Twitter earlier today and was blown away by the response. So many people were very nice about it, and many thought I should unfollow her.  (She still follows me by the way).

Thing is, I have always liked her. She has an interesting blog, I love her style of writing and some of the subjects she writes about are very close to my heart. Up until recently I was a regular commenter on her blog, but I can take the hint and don't comment anymore.

So, to follow or unfollow? If I unfollow it makes it clear I don't want to talk to her either, but I do. Pathetic, right?

I wish it didn't bother me, but it does.

Am I being over-sensitive? What makes you unfollow someone?